How COOL
was it to be on the news?? So fun. Had a great day with tons of support from students and teachers alike.
I hope that story really touches somebody.
Tomorrow is a big day. I never thought things would become so public! While this is exciting, it’s also very nerve wracking for a number of reasons.
Nakupenda sana, Maiko.
In you, I have found my best friend.
Thank you for forever putting up with me, and for loving me through every fault I can imagine possessing.
Thank you for proving to be really quite lovable.
You’re a happy kind of beautiful.
I pray that I never become judgmental.
I pray that I never become selfish.
I pray that I never become conceited.
I pray that I never become unappreciative.
I pray that I never become you.
I have good intentions. I can promise you that much. Why would I try to hurt you? For the same reason you’re hurting me: we’re human. We cannot elevate ourselves to the position of most high and hurting simply because we do not feel right in the blessed moment. We, as humans, must learn to trust in something bigger. I trust that my heart will resolve itself. Do you?
My stomach aches for the old times. The days we were fine, and the times we let it slip away from us.
When things got bad, we let them go. When we held on, it was only to eachother.
The road never mattered but the journey was the same. We lived, and we loved. There was never anyone to blame.
So who takes the fault? Of what consequence is love? Certainly not I, say the two.
You put a hole in more than just my ear. About a year ago, you left a massive hole in my heart. Slowly, I’ve filled it with His presence, and with new friends and lovers. There have been times when, yes, I’ve missed you. For the most part, though, I feel quite renewed and I know that God took you away for a reason. I don’t like it when you’re gone, but I feel better.
That will never make sense to you, and that’s one reason why I can’t explain it.
I just saw a highly disturbing scene. Two high school kids walking across our senior lot, pushing a stroller and smoking their cigarettes. What is the world coming to?
Human beings and rationalizations.
Rationalizations are the root of discomfort. I’m uncomfortable.
You made me uncomfortable by bashing something that’s highly important to me. You made me uncomfortable by talking about her behind her back and deciding for her that she should not attend said highly important event. You made me uncomfortable by prying, asking, and investigating. You made me uncomfortable by inviting her over to spite me. You made me uncomfortable by yelling at me. You made me uncomfortable by taking back your word.
You made me uncomfortable through false accusations. You made me uncomfortable by putting words in my mouth. You made me uncomfortable by hurting someone I love. You made me uncomfortable by choosing their sides over ours. You made me uncomfortable through one metamorphosis.
You made me uncomfortable by leaving me when I needed you the most. You made me uncomfortable when you threw something of his across the room. You made me uncomfortable when you broke my precious moments. And my Precious Moments.
You made me uncomfortable by playing both sides. You made me uncomfortable when you told me your secret. You made me uncomfortable when you changed so drastically. You made me uncomfortable when you left us for that place. That awful place.
Basically, I’m highly uncomfortable. But I feel better now, thanks.
I’m very sick of people today. It’s really too bad, because there are so many nice ones to choose from. My people picking skills apparently weren’t up to par a few years ago. Or, perhaps they were and my chosen people have become new and less desirable people. The ability of humans to change is really a beautiful thing, when you think about it. It is the wrong human changing that turns the whole metamorphasis into a sin. Jesus loved these people and I, too, need to embrace their faults. That doesn’t mean I have to fall to them.
You could have taken a long break instead of a long fall from a high place…
I can hardly wait to get my plane tickets, my shots (well yeah, I can wait for those!) my visa, my money, my language skills… OH MY!
I’m starting Swahili classes at work on Monday at 6pm! I’m excited to learn another language, but I’m mostly excited to just get a taste of what I’m in for for a month! I’m excited to grill William (my teacher!) about life in Tanzania. I’m excited to finally feel that level of commitment from my group, from myself!, from my parents.
Shortly after that I’ll get my tickets, which I can then use to get my Visa, and finally my vaccinations. It looks like I’ll need Cholera, Yellow Fever, Hep. B, and Polio vaccines. I’ll also need to start medications for Malaria prevention. If I take Malerone (which comes highly suggested to me by friends and fellow travelers due to its lack of serious side effects) then I’ll need to start almost a month in advance!
There is entirely too much for one person to plan here, so my group has taken on different aspects of planning. Subcommittees, in a sense, have emerged and begun planning away! I am in charge of major fund raising and publicity, (for obvious reasons) and I need to start applying for more and more grants as we approach our deadlines!
Mrs. Knapp is working on getting Church funding and Visa information.
Ms. Livorsi is taking care of packing lists, and finding out about cultural cues and dos and don’ts before our departure.
Obviously there is more to do, but we’ve only just begun this lengthy process. Stay in tune for more updates on TANZANIA’10!
Amani,
Ashlie
You could have taken a long break instead of a long drop from a high place.
That song is stuck in my head, and for good reason.
I can’t honestly say that things are the same as they used to be,
but that’s a good thing. Things are better, probably.
I just pray you’ll be home in time for God to work in your life.
And you will be. I promise.
I must’ve been sleeping.
I must’ve been drinking.
I haven’t been dreaming about you for years.
Oh Brandi. <3
I was with him on two midnights that mattered. He is mine.
